Richard's tumor was nearly the size and shape of a pecan by the time it had exhausted her. But for almost one year she carried her burden without complaint, determined to live without compromise. Medical examination had revealed an inoperable sarcoma. Euthanasia had been the recommendation, but we knew that the only one who could truly determine when Richard's time was drawing near was Richard herself. There was no question that eventually the tumor would drain away Richard's quality of life. Until that time,

Richard, a female Patagonian Conure, was one of Foster Parrots' original residents, having arrived at the sanctuary in 1995 from a pizza shop where the shop owner was told to get rid of the bird by the local health department.  She was ten years old when she arrived. A dominant presence in the barn, she was a virtual socialite who held status and respect among her circle of bird friends. Richard had a fondness for bells and for the way her voice would resonate when she stuck her head inside, so we hung bells in her favorite places through the barn. She would sometimes nest in low cubbies or in boxes that were provided for her. She would fill these places with collections of shiny objects and defend those possessions fervently. In spite of her nakedness and her portentous deformity, she had won the adoration of an Indian Ringneck male named Hannah, who was Richard's long-time partner and dedicated companion. He was always by her side.

I guess we imagined that Richard would go on forever - happy, active, busy with her shiny possessions, her bells and her bird friends, nipping at the feet of bothersome humans who might over step certain invisible Richard boundaries. However, in October of 2004 we began to notice that Richard was slowing down considerably. Flight, once effortless despite the gravity of the tumor, was becoming a labor for her. Soon she was walking the floor far more often than she was cruising through the hanging branches above. By early November it was simply too difficult to hoist herself into the air, and her breathing, we could see, was stressed by her activity.

The quality of life issue was now at hand. It was time to let Richard go. But the decision was still too painful, too obscured by the shades of gray. No, she can't fly well, but she's still eating pretty well. No, she can't breathe comfortably, but she's still active and she still has her devoted bird friends...she still has Hannah. Is she in pain? What if she's not in pain? What if it's a bad time that will pass? What if she just likes to be on the floor?
 

For more on the issue of euthanasia, click here.